The inexplicable science of The Egg: Uncracked, Unhatched, Unbroken

Y'all know this guy, don't you? In fact, we all know him. We made him famous!

He's Eugene btw.

Why, just why?

Everybody is getting behind this egg. Why, you might wonder, did an egg capture our hearts and double taps?

Well, silly, eggs are perfect. Versatile, tasty, encased in their own packaging, and stacked with nutrients, they're as wholesome as you can get. If you get home and have nothing but eggs in your refrigerator, you still have everything. You can fry them, scramble them, poach them, hard or soft boil them. They are pure, uncomplicated and inanimate. They are simple, and yet they are powerful, packed with 6 grams of protein.

More importantly, they are not shouting for your attention. Compare them to the pathetic attempts by celebrities to wear laughable outfits – or sometimes wear nothing – to attract your eyeballs and make you press the like button. Like it or not, you are fed up of those wannabe people. Done. They get a zero. They get an egg. This is your revenge story. The egg is authentic. Like you. In liking that egg you have also liked yourself.

As has been duly noted by most talking about the egg, this egg appears to have no precious jewels decorating its shell, looks untouched by photo filters and – most importantly - has no celebrity lurking in its vicinity. Devoted egg-fluencers could prove their devotion by posting hashtags such as #LikeTheEgg or #EggSoldiers, but the initiation ritual to join the #EggGang was relatively simple: double-tap a photo of an entirely average, speckled brown egg.

While it’s easy to write off The Egg, apparently named Eugene, as chaos mongering mischievous agents intent on spreading confusion, the explanation is easy as the egg.

So much of the viral content that we’re exposed to in the contemporary internet is more likely to lead us into a spiral of existential despair than it is to spark joy. From considering the implications of havoc wreaked by the “move fast, break things” motto of giant unfettered tech companies to the culture of trolling that defines so much of online discourse, it’s justifiable to look at the social media apps and sites you are addicted to with disgust.

Indeed, commerce will corrupt this saviour egg too. Perhaps even The Egg will eventually become bad (it’s already cracking, remember? No? Check out the new posts on his "official" Insta account), but because there was no initial promise of the inevitable Egg merchandise, its virality is untainted by the capitalistic undercurrents that define most attempts at going viral. It’s difficult to even feel jealous of this simple thing. The anonymous owner of the account also seems to understand that associating a human face to this simplest product of nature will ruin the story.

The Egg is our revenge on Kylie Jenner and her ilk. The previous record holder for most liked Instagram post perfectly encapsulates the exhausting sameness of posts or tweets that rack up thousands of likes or retweets. Kylie Jenner and her entire empire are both products of and driving forces behind the Instagram influencer vortex that defines popular culture at the moment.

Famous for no particular reason beyond being in the background of a reality television show revolving around her siblings who are also famous for no explicable reason, Jenner’s birth announcement capitalized on at least two different veins rich in viral gold: famous babies and carefully curated “intimate” peeks into the lives of the famous baby’s famous parents. The fact that that particular picture was previously the most-liked surprised no one who has been online in the past decade.

The Egg, on the other hand, is a genuine surprise. It is a phenomenon without explanation, and its existence and subsequent cracking of records raises more questions than it answers. Why now? Who is the mastermind behind The Egg? Does the Egg represent a yearning to return to the womb as we face a world ravaged by climate change? Like most things on social media, all those questions are best left unanswered.

In an era of rampant spam and not-so-funny memes, the egg became popular by straightforwardly asking for likes and nothing else. It’s absurd. It’s delightful. It feels righteous, charitable even, to help these accounts amass larger online followings than those of world leaders or members of the Kardashian family.

Instead let us rejoice in what The Egg proves: that in a world where it’s difficult to disconnect from the celebrity noise and everybody seems to be a potential celebrity, the internet can still occasionally restore sense and balance. It’s pathetic to even look at celebrities posting their own takes on The Egg, hoping to garner more followers and likes. Indeed, the circus will still perform.

But The Egg says, not in my town.


-Arshpreet Singh